Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Declare This Day, February 23, To Be Spray-on Tan Day

Immediate Action Item!!

Yes, I've unilaterally declared a statewide nod of the noggin' to spray-on tanning, and here's a link to Livestrong's tips on the process. While I'm not usually a fan of such fakery, preferring to naturally slow-toast my hide through 40 weight sunscreen, today's weather forecast has caused me to fear for sensitive eyes.
Here is my cause for alarm:
Today: Mostly sunny, with a high near 78.

This means that every pasty rider in the area will rush from their jobs in the offices, salt mines, and jute mills of Central Arkansas and head out to the River Trail this evening. The result will be an overabundance of very white, very hairy legs which, in the stark light of winter, can create an unnaturally blinding distraction to riders and may pose a threat to the normal development of small children.

Use your lunch hour to rush out and get something like this:
Do it for the children!

I fully expect that today will also be an opportunity to practice your peak season crowd riding techniques on the area bridges, so spray on, saddle up, and ride friendly!


Chad said...

"may pose a threat to the normal development of small children."


Anonymous said...

The good thing about the "my
whiteness" is that people can see me at night!